We talk about fatherhood as a noun. A status. A fact of biology. You became a father the moment the child arrived, and that fact is permanent — it's right there on the birth certificate.

Most boys and men do not know how important their love is to their father. They don't know that their love makes a difference.

Most men spend enormous energy trying to avoid that feeling. They read the parenting books. They show up to the school events. They try, really try, to be better than their own fathers were. And then something happens — a blowup, a silence that lasts too long, a moment they handled badly — and the feeling arrives anyway. The guarantee delivers.

When Love Feels Hard Do you fight with your partner? Do you feel ignored by someone you care about? Do your family connections feel...