For Couples Who Have Tried Everything and Are Still Stuck
35 years working with couples, men, and families who are ready to change. Online across British Columbia.
Most couples who find their way to me have already tried. They've read the books. They've been to therapy, sometimes more than once. They understand their patterns. And they're still repeating them.
After 35 years sitting with couples in the hardest places a relationship can reach, I've learned that insight is not enough. Knowing why you fight doesn't stop the fight. Understanding the cycle doesn't break it.
What breaks it is different. That's what this work is built around.
WHO THIS IS FOR
I work with couples at all stages who are ready to create real change, including:
Stuck in recurring conflict
Emotional disconnection
One partner resists therapy
When Insight Isn't Enough
Many couples who find their way to me have already tried. They've read the books. They've been to therapy, sometimes more than once. They understand their patterns. And they're still repeating them.
After 35 years sitting with couples in the hardest places a relationship can reach, I've learned that insight is not enough. Knowing why you fight doesn't stop the fight. Understanding the cycle doesn't break it. What breaks it is experiential and it happens in the therapy room together.
That is the work I do to help your relationship heal.
Couples I work with
The couples I see most often aren't in crisis. They've been together a long time. They love each other — or they used to, and they're not sure anymore.
What they share is the feeling that something has calcified. The same argument, for years. The distance that opens up and doesn't close. The knowledge that something has to change and the inability to reach it.
Many of them have been to therapy before. Some of them have been to good therapy. And they're still here, still stuck.
That's not a failure of effort. It's a signal that something is operating below the level where most therapy works. 35 years of experience has taught me to help you find that signal.
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What We Work ON
Couples come to me with a range of presenting issues, but the underlying territory is usually the same: disconnection, patterns that repeat, and the feeling that the person across from you has become someone you can no longer reach. Specific areas include:
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Rebuilding trust and emotional safety after betrayal or chronic conflict
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Communication patterns that have hardened into walls
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Intimacy and sexual disconnection
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Parenting conflicts and co-parenting after separation
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Anger that arrives before understanding — and the fallout it leaves
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Military and first responder families navigating the aftermath of service
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Life transitions that have destabilized the relationship
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Couples where one or both partners carry unresolved trauma
How I work
My training spans 35 years and multiple models — the Satir Growth Model (which I've practiced, taught, and represented internationally since 1994), Internal Family Systems, Somatic Transformation Therapy, Enactment Therapy, CBT, and Solution Focused approaches.
In practice, I don't lead with technique. I lead with what's actually happening in the room. This work is experiential. It's not primarily about talking about your relationship — it's about working directly with the patterns, the moments, the places where things break down, and finding what's underneath them. That's where change actually happens.
"If your partner won't go to therapy, or has gone and checked out, that's not the end of the conversation. It's the beginning of a different one."